


A Wolf in Paint Splattered Clothing (Working Title)

by agrajag



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drug Addiction, F/M, M/M, Minor Violence, Selling Drugs, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-11
Updated: 2014-10-03
Packaged: 2018-02-17 00:58:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2291099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agrajag/pseuds/agrajag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Kieren and Amy passed him every day, leaning against the fountain, usually several other students gathered around him. He would be going on about something or other. Bits of discussions Kieren had picked up were global warming, gay marriage, and women's rights, to name a few. It wasn't as if the guy was uninformed when it came to these sensitive topics. In fact, from what Kieren gathered, he rather agreed with Amy's mysterious gentleman. It was the way he seemed to view it as his duty to pass his teachings along to those with less social and economical education. Kieren decided the guy thought himself a messiah. It was pretentious and not flattering. It didn't matter if the guy was actually rather handsome and wore tragically adorable jumpers.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>"Now Kieren, I know you. You're thinking he's not good enough for your darling Amy. But I promise you, there is a sweet person underneath all the brimstone and fire. I can tell these kind of things."</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this story around the time of the series two finale and then my computer broke down. I just recovered it and I'm hoping posting what I have so far will kick my butt into gear to work on the rest of it. So be forewarned this is very much a WIP. Tags subject to change.

"I feel like I'm in a young adult novel," Amy said, throwing herself dramatically onto Kieren's bed. The poor thing wobbled unsteadily, and Kieren dreamed (and not for the first time) of the day he would be able to move out of the dorms, with their cursed tiny beds that were barely big enough for a ten year old, let alone university students. He was brought out of his fantasy of laying star fished on a queen sized bed by Amy poking the side of his head. "Are you even listening?"

"I'm sorry. You were saying about being in a novel?"

"He's the definition of mysterious stranger. We are destined to fall in love," Amy explained, as if Kieren was supposed to know who "he" was.

"Who is?"

Amy scoffed. "You're supposed to be my BDFF. Best Decorative Friend Forever! Does that not mean anything to you?" She laughed before there was any possibility Kieren would think she was being completely serious. Though, to be honest, he wasn't sure Amy knew how to be serious about anything other than her work.

"It means the world to me," Kieren said sincerely. "So who's the guy?"

"I've only been admiring him from afar, thus talking about him non-stop, for weeks. The brooding gentleman with the tragic yet adorable jumpers who's always hanging out around the fountain when we're on our way to Art History."

"Oh Amy. Not him."

Amy only nodded enthusiastically as if to say, 'Yes, him.'

The person she was talking about was basically intolerable. Kieren and Amy passed him every day, leaning against the fountain, usually several other students gathered around him. He would be going on about something or other. Bits of discussions Kieren had picked up were global warming, gay marriage, and women's rights, to name a few. It wasn't as if the guy was uninformed when it came to these sensitive topics. In fact, from what Kieren gathered, he rather agreed with Amy's mysterious gentleman. It was the way he seemed to view it as his duty to pass his teachings along to those with less social and economical education. Kieren decided the guy thought himself a messiah. It was pretentious and not flattering. It didn't matter if the guy was actually rather handsome and wore tragically adorable jumpers.

"Now Kieren, I know you. You're thinking he's not good enough for your darling Amy. But I promise you, there is a sweet person underneath all the brimstone and fire. I can tell these kind of things."

"Okay, he's not that bad," Kieren mumbled.

"I take that as your blessing." Amy hugged Kieren and then turned back to her open book. "Now, shall we continue on with quizzing each other? I'd rather not do poorly on this test."

Kieren laughed. Amy couldn't possibly do poorly on a test if she tried. Everything appeared to come naturally to her. It was one of the many things he admired about her. It first became evident his new friend was unstoppable when they had their first pop quiz and everyone else had failed, assuming an entry level course like Art History was simply a formality and wouldn't be taken seriously even by the professor. No one had been going over their notes from the past week, Amy included, and yet she was the only student who received an A. Kieren readily agreed when she first suggested they pair up and become "study buddies," as she eloquently put it, even though he knew that he would be the only one actually benefiting from that aspect of their friendship. He was so glad that he had met Amy the first week of classes.

And not just because she was smart. She was arguably the nicest and funnest person Kieren had ever met. She always had adventures planned for when the weekend rolled around and was more than happy to lend a shoulder when Kieren got the letter from Rick about joining the military. He just wished they had more classes together. Sure, he was studying painting while she was studying graphic design, but it was only the first semester and they were mostly taking introductory courses, anyway. It was as if the universe didn't want them to be together.

And now Kieren sounded as dramatic as Amy.

"What are you thinking about now, dumb-dumb?" Amy asked.

"I'm thinking about how by the time we're through, the impressionists won't even know what hit them."

That got a laugh out of Amy, and Kieren quietly breathed a sigh of relief. If she was, underneath it all, upset that Kieren had made fun of the guy she had set her sights on, she would have said something like, "Now that is too funny" while forcing a smile -- and Kieren could always tell Amy's fake smiles from the real ones. Amy was the best friend Kieren had ever had (besides Rick) and he didn't want to hurt her over something so insignificant. He wasn't exactly one to tell anybody who not to fall for, considering his relationship history. (If he could even call it a relationship.) So, it felt good to know that he and Amy were okay. Now he could focus on passing the test the next day and preparing for their trip to the zoo.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Kieren met Amy outside of her Approaching Graphic Design class so they could walk to Art History together. Amy was wearing her favourite dress -- the pink, lacy one that had at least one pound of tull in the skirt -- and Kieren knew immediately she was up to no good. Amy took Kieren's arm and started to lead him toward the concourse where the fountain, and incidently, the pretentious stranger, were.

"You're going to talk to him, aren't you?" Kieren asked as he struggled to keep up with her.

"Of course, silly. How else are we going to get married and have three children and retire to Florida if I never talk to him."

"Florida? Seriously?"

"Maybe Florida. I'm not sure. We have more than enough time to figure it out."

Once they reached the concourse, Kieren could see the guy was leaning against the edge of the fountain as expected. There was no one else there, possibly due to the overwhelming amount of professors squeezing in tests before the fall break, and the guy was smoking a cigarette and simply gazing off into the distance. The universe must really have it out for Kieren, he thought. He couldn't be so lucky as to have at least being one other person there distracting the guy so Amy wouldn't just walk right up to him and...

"Hello there," Amy said. She finally dropped Kieren's arm so she could wave. "I'm Amy, and this is Kieren. We've just happened to notice you sitting here all by your lonesome and thought we'd introduce ourselves."

The guy blew a ring of smoke to the side, but the wind carried it right into Kieren and Amy's faces. Kieren coughed, granted he did so in a little bit of an exaggerated manner, and tried his best to scowl at the guy. The guy either didn't notice or didn't care.

"What are you looking for?" he asked.

"Your name would be a nice place to start," Amy suggested.

The guy chuckled quietly, tossing his cigarette to the ground and stamping it out with his foot. Shaking his head, he stood up and offered Amy his hand. "Name's Simon."

Amy shook his hand and offered a little curtsy. "It's lovely to meet you Simon."

"Pleasure's all mine," Simon replied. "I have seen you and your boyfriend around as well. It's nice to have names to put to the faces."

Kieren was hoping that he could just slowly fall back and avoid the rest of the incredibly awkward conversation. He knew Amy would be disappointed in him for not making an effort -- especially considering she'd been trying to encourage him to make new friends, recently -- but he had already started working on an extensive apology in his head. The word boyfriend shocked him right back to the present, however.

Amy laughed. "Oh no, Kieren is just my dear friend. Honestly, I would be so lucky if he were my boyfriend, but sadly it is completely platonic."

"Hello," Kieren said, unhelpfully, with a little wave.

"Wait, that did not come out exactly how I wanted it to," Amy continued. "It makes me sound like I'm hung up on him, but I'm not. I mean, who would even admit that in front of the person they had feelings for?"

"Someone who just couldn't take hiding their feelings anymore and had no other way to express themselves?" Simon suggested.

If Amy's life had truly become a young adult novel, Kieren knew she would be swooning by this point. He couldn't help but be happy because it seemed Simon was perfect for her after all.

"I like the way you think," Amy said. "So, you don't have a class this period? Because we've happened to see you standing here occasionally."

"No, I'm afraid I don't."

"Well, we have Art History with Professor Burton. We actually have a test in the class today. And while Professor Burton's really nice, but he will be a tad disappointed if we're late on the day of a test. We would love to stay and chat, but sadly we must be off. Would you like to hang out later? Kieren and I are planning a trip to the zoo tomorrow. You could come along, if you'd like?"

"I would love to. That sounds really fun." Simon pulled a piece of paper and a pen from his bag and wrote something down. "Here's my number. Call me after your test and let me know when and where to meet you tomorrow."

"Fantastic!" Amy took the paper and cradled it to her chest. "We'll talk to you then."

"It was nice meeting you," Kieren said.

"And you," Simon replied. He smiled and leaned back against the fountain once more. "Good luck on your test."

"You're not upset, are you?" Amy asked, once they had walked away. "I know that we planned that trip for just the two of us. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. Better then inviting him round to the dorm room to drink cheap cider we had to smuggle in, right? Not exactly a story I'd love to tell the grandkids."

"No, of course I'm not upset," Kieren said. He took Amy's hand and gave it a light squeeze. "I was a little surprised, sure. But I trust you. And he seems like he's not actually all that bad. I'm sure he'll be a lot of fun to have along."

"It warms my heart to hear you say that Kier. Now that I have your honest blessing, I feel like this will all work out."

They picked up their pace, then, and managed to make it to class with a minute to spare. Professor Burton handed out the tests and Kieren lost himself in impressionist art for the next hour. Studying with Amy had really improved his grades in the less hands-on classes they were required to take, and he finished feeling confident in his work. He handed in the test paper and waved to Amy, who had a habit of triple checking her answers before handing any assignment in, and then headed to the campus coffee shop since he had some spare time before his Beginning Drawing class. He ordered his coffee and had just sat down to wait when he heard his phone buzz.

 **Amy:** he sounds so adorable on the phone!!!

 **Kieren:** Didn't I just see you two minutes ago?

 **Amy:** it was so important i had to text u

 **Amy:** also i told him we'll meet him by the fountain at noon and head to the train from there

 **Kieren:** Ok, sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow.

 **Amy:** love u 2!!! xx

Kieren smiled and placed his phone back into his backpack. The barista called his name, and he had just enough to grab a straw and head to his class.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Fridays were Kieren's busiest day of the week, but he didn't mind. By the time his last class finished at six, his roommate Freddie was out with is girlfriend. He and Kieren didn't talk much. Not because they didn't get along but more because they didn't have much in common, so it made things less awkward if they kept their interactions confined to discussions about the room and when they'd be having friends over. Usually it was Kieren having friends (rather, Amy) over since Freddie and his crew loved to go out -- even on weeknights. Kieren knew he should try harder to be more friendly, but deep down he was glad to have an excuse to not talk to his roommate. He told himself it was his way of coping with Rick leaving, even though he knew it was more like his way of being in extreme denial.

Kieren sorted through the pile of books and papers on his desk until he found his sketchbook. He laid down on his bed and started drawing. When he started, he told himself he wasn't going to draw Simon, but it was as if his hand had a mind of its own. He started shaping Simon's face as he tried to recall the way he looked when he smiled. It had been nice to finally see the guy smile. It made him seem more human.

The sketch was incredibly rough, and Kieren set it aside for the time being. He decided to call it an early night so he'd have time to get up and get his homework for Beginning Drawing done before meeting Amy and Simon at the fountain. He got ready and turned off the light before crawling back into bed. Sleep hadn't come easy for Kieren since he got that letter, and yet he found himself drifting off in no time.

_Kieren could hear the soft pitter patter of water dripping off the rocks further down in the cave. He lit the tea lights he had put there after the last time he and Rick had been there. He smiled when he was finally able to see Rick's face._

_'See? This is so much better then shining a torch at the ceiling.'_

_'I don't think it counts as a ceiling,' was all Rick said. 'I mean, it's nature, isn't it?'_

_Kieren had never wanted to kiss Rick more then he did in that moment._

_'Rick, I...'_

_'Ren, there's...'_

_They both started laughing._

_'You go first,' Kieren offered._

_'There's something I gotta tell ya.'_

Kieren woke with a start. He reached blindly toward the bedside table for his phone. The clock read 5:57. He felt like he had run miles rather than being startled awake from a dream. He kicked the covers off and tried to slow his breathing. It wasn't the first time he had dreamed about the night he and Rick said goodbye. If he could even call it goodbye. Rick hadn't been absolutely positive that he'd be joining the military. Not until he wrote Kieren and left without giving him a chance to tell him how he really felt. Even though a small, evil part of him constantly reminded him, 'Rick obviously knew how you felt. Anyone could tell. He didn't feel the same and was too embarrassed for you to do anything else but leave when you weren't there.'

Wiping away the tears, Kieren rolled over and tried to think of anything else. He noticed Freddie was fast asleep in his bed and was surprised he hadn't woken him up as well with all the noise he must have been making. He tried to fall back asleep, but it was clear after half an hour that he would just lay there, tossing and turning. He got up as quietly as he could and went down the hall to take a shower and get dressed. A walk around the campus would clear his mind, he decided.

He had made it to the football field when he could have sworn he heard someone calling his name, but that couldn't be true. Kieren only knew Amy, Freddie, and Amy's roommate Lisa, and there was no way any of them were walking around the campus at 6:45. So Kieren kept walking. It wasn't until he heard footsteps behind him that he tensed up. Oh God, this was not how he wanted to go.

"Kieren, wait up."

Now that the person was closer, Kieren could recognize the voice. He breathed a sigh of relief and turned around.

It was only Simon.

"You scared me," Kieren said in lieu of a hello. "What are you doing up this early?"

"I could ask the same of you," Simon retorted. "And I'm not up this early. Haven't gone to bed yet."

"Aren't you tired?"

"Yeah, a bit. But I had something I had to do before going to the zoo and I knew it was going to take some time," Simon said, vaguely. "I was heading back to get some sleep."

"You don't live in the dorms?"

"I haven't in awhile. Don't change the subject. I told you what I was doing."

"Couldn't sleep," Kieren said quickly. "Just taking a walk."

"Alright, I understand. You don't want to talk about it. I suppose I'd be a hypocrite if I pushed further. You should be careful, though. Out by yourself this early, and it's still dark."

"You're out by yourself, too," Kieren pointed out.

"Yeah, well, I can take care of myself."

Kieren scoffed. "I'm not some delicate little flower, okay? I can defend myself."

"I'm not saying you can't," Simon amended. "Sorry. I'm shit at this whole making friends thing. I haven't had to in a long time."

"I don't believe that. You've always got your followers hanging around you by the fountain. Hanging off of every word you say."

Simon laughed. "Followers? That gives me perhaps a little too much credit. Though, I still wouldn't consider them friends either, so followers will do."

"Do you study philosophy? Or sociology?" Kieren asked. "You just seem so passionate about all of this." He made a wide swooping motion with his hand as if to indicate everything.

"I have studied philosophy, but I feel like reading about these topics in text books is only the beginning of truly understanding. Besides, shouldn't everyone care about the world we live in?"

"Yes," Kieren admitted. "Don't you ever just answer a question with a simple answer, though?"

"I'm sorry. You actually wanted to have the 'what's your major' conversion? Don't you get tired of that?"

"Yeah, I guess." Kieren shrugged. "What else are we supposed to talk about, then?"

"Something that matters."

"School matters."

Simon hung his head and mutters, "Yeah, it does."

Kieren thought he should apologize. He hadn't been trying to upset him, but before he could say anything Simon looked back up and smiled.

"Well, this is my turn. I'll see you at twelve."

"Okay, yeah. Sure. I'll see you then."

Kieren watched Simon for a few seconds and contemplated running after him. He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much when Simon didn't seem offended that Kieren had an opposing view. In fact, he had seemed to enjoy having a little debate. It was the way he looked so defeated when Kieren had said that school mattered, and he didn't want Simon to be disappointed to think that's all he cared about. It was far from it, considering Kieren had almost decided against it when Rick didn't get into college. It took several shouting matches with his father for Kieren to understand it would be ridiculous not to go just because Rick wasn't.

Freddie was awake, laying stretched out on his bed with his laptop propped up on a pillow, when Kieren got back to his dorm room.

"Hey there Sleep Walker," he said, smiling up at Kieren. "Get it? Because your last name's Walker."

"Yeah, I get it." Kieren would deny that he came close to laughing, only because it was so cheesy.

"So what were you off doing? You do realize it's a Saturday. You're supposed to sleep in."

"If only I could sleep," Kieren muttered. He had hoped Freddie wouldn't hear, but his roommate was suddenly up and looking serious.

"Hey, mate, I know we don't see each other much, but you know you can talk to me if you need to, yeah?"

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I just have trouble sleeping, is all. I didn't want to hang around and do something in case I woke you up."

Freddie sighed, and Kieren knew he didn't believe him. Even if they weren't friends, they did live together, and Freddie must realize by now that Kieren had something bothering him. Kieren didn't need to tell everyone about his issues, however. He had Amy who was helping Kieren face them head on -- but only when he was ready to, of course. He knew he was stubborn and could be trying harder, but it was going to take some time. Besides, he was going to the zoo with her and Simon. Simon might want to be friends with Kieren as well as Amy. So that was one box checked off on Amy's "Make Kieren Forget All About A Certain Inconsiderate Flop."

Kieren found his messenger bag on the floor where he dropped it the night before, rummaged through, and retrieved his wallet. He checked to make sure he had some bills to pay the admission fee and then tucked it safely into his pocket. He still had time to work on his assignment, but when he sat down at his desk, he found himself staring at a blank page clueless as to what he should draw. The assignment sheet was tacked up on his bulletin board, mocking him.

_Draw something or someone you have never attempted to draw before. (Even rough sketches count!) Really stretch your limits, but also remember to have fun!_

That excluded his family and Amy, as well as Freddie even, and most of Kieren's professors.

Kieren flipped back and forth through his sketchbook, a sea of faces swimming before him. He eventually tossed it down on the desk and slumped against the surface, defeated. He glanced up and saw the picture he landed on was the one of Simon he had done before going to bed. He noticed the lines were far too harsh, but otherwise, it was very well done. He pulled open the drawer and found his eraser. He began to fix the drawing. So he technically hadn't planned for it to be the work he handed it, but it didn't break the rules exactly. He got lost in his work that he was nearly happy enough with the drawing to begin to colour when his phone alarm went off. He had just enough time to make it to the fountain.

\---------------------------------------------------------

The trip to the zoo had surpassed all the other adventures Amy had planned and immediately became Kieren's favourite. When they had arrived, Simon offered to pay for Amy's admission ticket. The smile on Amy's face (and slight blush on her cheeks) that caused was reason enough for Kieren to be happy, but then it turned out Simon knew how to shut off for a couple hours and have a good time. They made their way around the zoo and went to every exhibit because "all the animals deserve our love" as Amy had said when Kieren expressed his dislike of reptiles. They stopped in a couple gift shops and all bought wooly hats shaped like their favourite animals. Simon went with a crocodile, and Kieren knew it was just to poke fun at him a bit. Throughout the day, Kieren found himself seeing what it was Amy had seen in him. He was sweet and funny and, of course, intelligent and handsome.

_Oh._

Kieren sat on his bed, holding a strip of photo booth pictures that he, Amy, and Simon had taken that day.

"I'm falling for my best friend's crush," he bemoaned.

The posters on the wall offered no support.

Kieren felt guilty. He had told himself several times since he had gone back to the dorms that it wasn't something he could control, and yet he still felt as if he were betraying Amy. If there was one thing he was good at (besides art) it was burying his emotions deep inside in order to protect others. So he started to imagine Simon standing by the fountain and lecturing random passerby about the importance of voting. The way he would wring his hands occasionally -- a tell tale sign that he was actually a little nervous about people hanging on every word he said. The way his eyes lit up because it was a topic he was so passionate about. The way he smiled slightly when someone countered his argument with a well thought out point.

And that was not helping. Kieren realized that while he still found Simon's preaching annoying, he found the way he did it attractive.

With a sigh, Kieren dragged himself out of bed and got to work on his Beginning Drawing assignment. He decided to colour the portrait in shades of green only, since it was a colour Simon seemed to wear often. (And when had Kieren began to notice that?) He used only pencils, since it was a simple over the weekend assignment, and managed to finish the colouring in a few hours. He hadn't taken a break the entire time, and once he was done, he looked at the clock and saw it was already late evening. Kieren took his wallet and started to walk to the cafeteria to get some supper. About a block away from the dorms, he heard something rustling in the bushes along the sidewalk. He thought about picking up his pace, but then remembered that only that morning he had freaked out over being followed when it was just Simon. He told himself it was probably some other students sneaking around, so he continued to walk normally.

That was when he heard a man say, "Come on. I know you want it. You always want it. How is this any different?"

Without any hesitation, Kieren pulled out his phone and dialed campus security.

"There's someone attacking a student," he whispered, carefully. He told the guard where he was and promised he would stay out of the way until help arrived. Then he hung up and ran into the bushes. Normally Kieren would not have done something so rash, but he felt like it was what he should do. He couldn't wait until a security guard showed up. The person might be badly injured by then.

What he saw was a large man pushing Simon up against a tree and kissing him violently. Simon was clearly struggling to free himself, but the man had Simon's hands pinned above his head. Kieren was lucky because neither of them had heard him approaching, so he crept up behind the man and hit him on the back of the head. He collapsed and Simon scrambled to get away. He grabbed Kieren's hand and shouted, "Run."

Kieren knew he should tell Simon to stay. The man was unconcious for the time being, and help was on the way. They had to tell campus security about what happened, and hopefully, then they would be able to file a report with the police. But Simon was dragging Kieren behind him and he was unable to stop following. They had ran nearly ten blocks before Simon finally slowed down and released Kieren's hand. He doubled over and tried desperately to catch his breath. Kieren was close to doing the same.

"What happened?" he asked instead. "Who was that?"

"No one," Simon replied, but Kieren could tell they knew each other. Before he could push farther, Simon changed the subject. "Where the hell did you learn to do that?" He mimed how Kieren had hit the man.

"My friend Rick taught me. His dad was in the military and taught him how to fight. He never really had to worry about it, but guys bullied me all the time, so Rick figured I could use a little help with self defense." Kieren didn't mention that the reason he was bullied was due to his orientation and Rick had only taught him because he felt guilty -- Kieren was able to be open about who he was while Rick had to hide. "I'm still shit in a fight, though, so I focus on 'demobilizing the enemy' as they'd say. You don't think it was too much, do you?"

"No, Kieren, it was... it was amazing."

"I just did what anyone else would do."

"Not many people would risk their own safety like you did," Simon pointed out. "Call for help, maybe. But what you did was extremely brave."

"Thank you. I did call for help, as well. I was going to do the smart thing and let someone who is trained to do that sort of thing handle it, but I couldn't stand there and let something terrible happen."

"Wait. You called the police?" Simon asked frantically.

"No, campus security. Why?"

"I have to go. Kieren, thank you so much, but I have to go."

Simon started running again before Kieren could even ask what the hell was going on. He tried to run after him, but lost him within moments.

Kieren was in so much shock as he walked back to the dorms, he forgot to go back and talk to campus security or even go and get something to eat.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Kieren knew he had to tell Amy. He also knew, however, he couldn't do so without asking Simon's permission. He had been the one who was attacked and the last thing Kieren wanted to do was go around telling people if Simon was uncomfortable with it. Still, Amy should be aware that Simon may be involved with another person. Kieren had no idea how he should break the news. If he told Amy about the other man while leaving out the part of the attack, she'd think he and Simon were happily together, which was obviously not the case. The most practical solution was to get together with Simon and they both tell her, but -- after getting his mobile number from Amy -- Simon had yet to return any of Kieren's texts or calls.

Restless and unsure on how to proceed, Kieren decided to ask for advice from the one person he could trust that wasn't involved.

 **Kieren:** Hey, I need some help. Can you talk?

 **Jem:** sure i'll give you a ring

"It's so good to hear your voice," Kieren said as soon as Jem said hello. "I miss you."

"It's only been a couple months. How do you even survive without me?" Jem joked. "So, what's bothering you?"

It took Kieren almost half an hour to explain the entire situation to Jem. The only part he left out was how he thought he might be falling for Simon himself. He wished she was there with him so he could hug her for being so patient. When he was finally finished, Jem was quiet for a moment as she thought.

"That is really intense," was all she said at first.

"I know. I'm not even sure what to think right now. I know that Amy and I are new friends to him, but what could Simon possibly be gaining from hiding everything? He must realize that we would accept him for who he is and would want to help."

"Maybe that's just how he is."

Jem sounded sad and Kieren felt as if a giant pit had formed in his stomach. He had never told Jem about him and Rick (because Rick had made him swear not to tell anyone) but Jem was observant, and extremely intelligent, for her age. She had eventually pieced it all together herself. Occasionally she seemed to still be hurt that Kieren hadn't trusted her, but she understood that sometimes people had to keep secrets.

And she was right. Maybe Simon had to keep this secret to protect himself from family or friends.

"I just don't want him to get hurt again. Next time it could be worse."

"You can't really force him to do anything, though. Talk to him. Try to knock some sense into him. But if he says no, you have to respect that."

"Thanks Jem. Honestly, I don't know how I do survive without you."

"Well, just keep sending me mix tapes and I'll offer advice in exchange."

"Oh, you got the last one?"

"The one titled 'Transformation?' Which, not subtle, by the way. Yeah, I did. It's fantastic, of course. Stop having such good taste in music."

"I will once you finally dye your hair red like you've been saying for the past year and a half."

"You know Mum would kill me. Speaking of... she's home. I gotta go help with supper. Talk to you later. And Kier. Keep safe."

"I will. Love you, Jem."

Kieren tried to not watch his phone for the rest of the day. He attempted to get some much needed cleaning done around his side of the dorm, but when that failed he headed out to the common room. He noticed someone was already using the television to watch some crime drama, so he figured he'd just ask if he could join. It turned out to be Philip, a business major that had Political Science with Amy. He had come to a few of Kieren and Amy's study sessions until he must have said something to upset Amy. She never talked about it, so Kieren didn't push. Philip still would say hi to Kieren if they passed each other on the way to class, though, and he seemed like a nice person.

"Hey Philip. Mind if I watch with you?"

"Oh, hey Kieren. Yeah, no problem," Philip said. He moved his bag off the couch and Kieren sat down. "Do you want me to catch you up?"

"No, it's alright. I needed to get out of my room and get my mind off things. So best if I use all my brain power to guess what's going on."

"I understand what you mean," Philip said quietly. "Procedural shows are good for that," he continued, perking up. "You find yourself wanting to figure out who committed the crime before the detectives do."

"That does sound like a good idea."

Kieren and Philip finished the episode that was on and decided to watch the next one when they found out there was a marathon. They bounced theories off of each other and ended up solving the mystery halfway into the show. Kieren realized that he thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Philip and, even if Amy didn't get along with him, that didn't mean Kieren couldn't hang out with him at separate times. She was encouraging him to make new friends, after all.

"Well, I better get going," Philip said as the credits started to roll. "I should work a bit on my paper that's due Wednesday."

"Alright. It was great to see you again," Kieren said. "Actually, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to hang out again, whenever you're free."

"Will Amy be there?"

Kieren could see the way Philip's eyes lit up, and it all suddenly made sense. Philip was interested in Amy. Kieren felt sorry for him because he was nowhere near her type. He was conservative and played by the rules. Amy needed someone who was daring, not afraid to speak up, and a forward thinker. Definitely someone like Simon. But Kieren didn't have the heart to let Philip down.

"Maybe. I'll get your number and we can work something out."

"I'd really like that."

They exchanged numbers and Philip headed out. Kieren stayed a little while longer, continuing to watch the show that Philip had left on. He had been right. Something about getting completely lost in the world on the television helped Kieren keep his mind off of his own problems. Once the third episode had ended, Kieren knew he should be getting ready for bed. Tomorrow he had a big day in Beginning Drawing and they'd be getting their test results in Art History. Plus, there was the tiny matter of talking to Simon and Amy. That is if Simon would be by the fountain at the usual time. He might avoid him completely, Kieren thought as he checked his phone for the first time since he left his dorm. As suspected, Simon had yet to call back.

He had to hand it to Amy. Their life had become a young adult novel.

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Have you heard from Simon?"

The sentence was scrawled in the all too familiar handwriting of one Amy Dyer on the piece of paper that smacked Kieren in the back of the head halfway through their Art History class. Normally the I would have been dotted with a heart, or something or other, but Amy must have been distracted.

Kieren sighed. He had worked up the courage to talk to his two friends, but when he and Amy had passed the fountain, Simon had not been there. Neither had any of the usual students who would sit and listen to him, so he couldn't even ask them if they knew where he was. And he still hadn't responded to Kieren. Apparently the case was the same with Amy.

Although he had most likely spoken to Simon after Amy last did... so technically the answer would be yes. He had heard from him. And he knew (vaguely) why he was now avoiding the both of them. Kieren still couldn't tell Amy until he talked to Simon, however, so he quickly wrote down "no" and tossed the note back over his shoulder.

Amy's response, handed to him this time, came immediately.

"I'm scared he might not like us after all."

It was obvious she must have been thinking this all day while Simon had been silent. It was odd for Kieren to see Amy doubt herself. She had been so sure that they'd get along with Simon -- and they had. How could she possibly think that that was the problem? Kieren said as much on the last bit of free space on the piece of paper.

Professor Burton was occupied with the answer code to the test that he didn't notice two of his students passing notes as if they were back in primary school. Kieren knew he should be more concerned with reviewing the questions he missed so he'd have accurate papers to go back to when studying for the final, but all he could focus on was Simon.

He didn't like the feeling.

He looked back down at his test and smiled at the little red B in the top right corner. It was his best grade the semester. That's what he should be focusing on. Not some guy he barely knew. Amy seemed to have come to the exact conclusion because the note passing stopped. When they left class, neither of them brought up Simon.

Kieren went about the rest of his day as if everything was normal. He handed in his assignment for Beginning Drawing and Professor Pinder nodded approvingly (which was the best possible feedback from her). He texted Philip and asked if he was free on Wednesday to go see the drama club perform The Taming of the Shrew. He even stopped at the coffee shop and treated himself to a pastry. Perhaps things would be normal and the entire ordeal would just blow over.

Or so Kieren thought until he was heading back to his dorm and saw Simon standing outside the building.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"I don't blame you for one second, but please," Simon asked. "If I could at least explain myself? I know it won't excuse how I acted, but you deserve to know."

"Okay. You have one minute."

"The man you saw attacking me is my ex. In a way. No, that sounds wrong. We are definitely not seeing each other anymore. It's just that we didn't necessarily date in the typical sense. Which was part of the problem. So I ended it. I didn't know he would be around the other night. I usually try to avoid him because he didn't take the break up well. I was upset and panicked when I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry that I ran from you, but I don't like getting the cops involved."

"Why wouldn't you? He had no problem attacking you. He should get what he deserves."

"I'm in a shit situation, Kieren. I'm doing my best to work through it, yeah? I just need you to know, that's behind me. I'm not involved with him. That's not something you should have to worry about, and I'm sorry that, for a moment, you had to."

Kieren relaxed his defensive posture and smiled softly at Simon. He could tell he was being sincere.

"Well, thank you for your honesty. Though, I think it's Amy you should be talking to."

"You told her about what happened?" Simon asked. He looked scared.

"No, I didn't. It wasn't my place. But in case this guy comes around again, you should tell her that he's not someone you actually want in your life."

"I don't understand why Amy should have to know. I don't want to worry her either."

Kieren huffed a laugh. "I know she might hide it well, but Amy can get a bit jealous. If you two are going to continue your frankly sickeningly sweet courtship then..." It was Simon's turn to laugh. Kieren stared at him. "What's so funny?"

"You think Amy and I?"

"That's what she thinks," Kieren said defensively. "And if you hurt her..."

"God, I feel awful. Amy is a wonderful girl, and I'm happy to have her as a friend, but I'm gay."

"Then you shouldn't lead her on."

Simon approached Kieren, backing him into the brick wall of dorm. He leaned in close and looked Kieren over before saying, "I don't lead people on."

"It seems like you do," Kieren said slowly. He clenched his hands, which had suddenly gone clammy, nervously and then released his hold slowly. "A lot. Like right now."

"That's because I'm being perfectly blunt about this, then, since you seem to have misunderstood. It's you I'm interested in."

"Oh. That's good to know."

And then they were kissing. Kieren would say he was shocked at Simon's boldness, but then he realized it was himself who had closed the last several centimeters between them. It was him that was reaching up, threading his fingers through Simon's hair, and pulling their bodies together. Yet it was over almost as soon as it had started. Kieren practically pushed away from Simon and dropped his head against the bricks.

Simon respectively took a step back. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Kieren muttered. "Yeah. We just shouldn't have done that. Amy is my best mate, and she really likes you. But I..."

"You want me?" Simon asked it so casually. Kieren could only nod. "Good, because I want you too. I want to see where this can go."

"So we're going to do this?"

"Yes. You'll have to talk to Amy. _We'll_ have to talk to her. I know I haven't known either of you for long, but Amy is a loving person, and I think she will be sad at first, but she'll understand."

Kieren nodded. "Okay. We tell her first, before anything else happens."

"Alright. We'll do it on your terms."

"Good. Now I'm going to go up to my dorm and do my assignments and not think about..."

_...how I really want to kiss you again._

Simon laughed. "That's a good idea. I'll see you tomorrow."

And with that he was gone.

Kieren spent the rest of the night trying to finish his work and instead would end up right back to thinking about Simon.

His eyes.

His lips.

His kiss.

He liked the feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"Kieren, it's you," Simon said. He seemed surprised to see him, even though Kieren had told Simon he was coming to see the play. He supposed it was odd that he'd be hanging back after the show._
> 
> _"Sorry. I thought I heard you and came to say hi, but I see you're busy."_
> 
> _"Yeah, we are, so you better get moving," Petruchio said._
> 
> _Kieren started to get worried. Was the actor another ex?_
> 
> _"Thom, it's alright," Simon said. "Kieren is my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a couple days. Just give me a minute."_
> 
> _"Boyfriend?" Kieren asked, because that was all he could focus on now._
> 
> _"I'd like to think so. Unless..." Simon trailed off, looking as if it was too painful to even finish the sentence._
> 
> _"No, we're boyfriends," Kieren said quickly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took nearly a month to get the second chapter ready for posting. Real life obligations got in the way.

Kieren woke up to his phone buzzing annoyingly against the table top of his night stand. He grabbed it and flipped through several texts that had, apparently, all been sent in a row after he had failed to answer when Amy called him ten minutes previous.

 **Amy:** i know u must be sleeping in since u dont need to make urself gorgeous in the morning

 **Amy:** i myself am not feeling good 2day handsum

 **Amy:** i think i might just have to take a personal day

 **Amy:** mind getting me anything i need and popping by later???

Kieren sent Amy a message apologizing for missing her call and that he would be by around five to check up on her and drop off any work assigned during the day. Then he scrambled to get ready. He didn't normally sleep in that late even if he had trouble sleeping the night before (which was nearly every night since classes had started). He threw on the first clothes he could find and, fingers crossed that everything he would need was already in there, grabbed his backpack before rushing out the door. He was lucky to have only missed ten minutes of his first class, and since it was his first time being late, the professor merely made a note of it.

With his morning all out of sorts, Kieren had completely forgotten what had happened the night before. That is until his Beginning Drawing class.

Professor Pinder handed back their graded assignments and a devilishly handsome, evilly smirking Simon stared up at Kieren from his desk. He felt his face flush. For a moment he was alleviated from his embarrassment by the piece of paper with his grade clipped to his drawing. An A. Professor Pinder's critique was incredibly uplifting as well. She praised Kieren's rough style, though mentioned that didn't necessarily mean to "draw rough" and that she'd help him hone his style throughout the rest of the semester. Kieren smiled as he slipped the drawing into a folder and tried to act as much like a normal human being as possible. He most definitely was not thinking of kissing Simon again. And in different places. And in different ways.

Later, Kieren was beginning to sense a pattern as he walked to Art History. The area around the fountain was ominously empty for a second time. It appeared Simon liked to disappear when Kieren needed to talk to him most. Though, it couldn't be said that Kieren was entirely disappointed. He was not looking forward to telling Amy that he and Simon were...

Well, what were they? Simon had said he wanted "to see where this goes" and Kieren supposed he wasn't much help defining what it was they were doing. So far all they had done was kiss. That didn't make them a couple. Kieren wasn't as naive as to think that.

 _A kiss promises nothing,_ Kieren thought, as another frustrating person came to mind.

The rest of his classes passed in a blur, and Kieren spent the entire day convincing himself that he could tell Amy on his own. He took a small detour on the way to her dorms to stop at a local bakery that Amy absolutely loved and bought a small box of biscuits. That alone cost him nearly ten pounds, and Amy would definitely know something was up as soon as he walked in the door. So scratch that idea, he thought, and nervously ate the biscuits as he approached the building. He stood outside the door for goodness knows how long before he finally gathered the courage to knock.

Lisa answered.

"Oh, hey Kier," she said pleasantly, although a little forced. She was looking ragged, and Kieren could tell Amy had her running errands of all sorts for her. He gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Hi Lisa. I have Amy's homework."

"Is that Kieren Walker, I hear?" Amy asked from inside the room before Lisa could let him in. Her voice was raspy, but Kieren could tell she was exaggerating it even more.

"She's been acting as if she's on her death bed all day," Lisa explained.

Kieren sat down on the edge of Amy's bed and set her books and papers down on the floor. He rested his left hand on Amy's arm as he leaned in and felt her forehead with his right. She was burning up.

"I would say she is close. To death, that is."

"I told you!" Amy pointed at Lisa accusingly. Lisa crossed her arms and sighed. One would think she'd be used to how much of a drama queen Amy could be considering she lived with her.

"As your doctor, I prescribe full bed rest for at least another day. Don't do any strenuous activity. Also, drink lots of tea."

"I don't think that'll be a problem Doctor Walker," Amy whispered. She appeared to honestly be drifting off, so Kieren stood up and walked quietly to the door.

"She's been working hard all day despite it all," Lisa explained. "I do hope she does actually get some sleep tomorrow, and hopefully then she'll feel better."

"Yeah, me too." Kieren felt guilty because at the moment, it was as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He possibly couldn't talk to Amy about Simon just yet. "Hey, if she needs anything tomorrow, let me know."

"Thanks mate. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Alright. See you then, Lisa. Tell Amy I said bye, if she wakes up."

"No problem."

Kieren told himself that the entire situation was out of his hands and that he had done the right thing not bothering Amy when she was sick with such trivial matters such as, oh, kissing the man of her dreams. He still felt a little nauseous, but knew he had to eat something other than biscuits, so he stopped at the cafeteria on the way home to grab a sandwich. It was dark by the time he made it back to find a note taped to his door. There was nothing written on the envelope. He figured it was from Freddie since he had just seen Amy and Lisa. Other than Philip, Freddie was the only other person he knew, and he doubted Philip would have left a note over texting. So Kieren set it aside while he ate and worked on his math homework.

He had forgotten about it until two hours later as he was getting ready to watch something on his laptop before going to bed. He had tossed it onto his desk and it had, luckily, landed right next to his laptop. He opened it up as his show was loading and almost dropped it when he finally read the message.

_I missed you today. Is it too soon to say that?_

_\- S_

At first Kieren was a little upset. Simon had to have followed him upstairs the night before to know which dorm was his. It didn't last long, however, before Kieren was smiling at how adorable it was that Simon would do such a thing. He must have been running late to class and that's why Kieren hadn't seen him in the concourse -- not because Simon was actively avoiding him. He had simply been overreacting earlier due to his nervousness about telling Amy. It was as if Simon knew he'd be thinking too much into it all, and he was kind enough to tell Kieren in his own way that everything was going to be alright. He would secretly be a romantic underneath it all, Kieren thought.

Oh no. He was doomed.

\---------------------------------------------------------

By Wednesday Kieren still had not seen Simon. They continued to talk through text and occasionally note, due to the fact that Simon broke his phone often. Kieren's fear that he was horrible at flirting was proven to not be illogical, as Amy had once insisted. He was utterly clueless. It appeared that Simon didn't care, though, that Kieren was completely in the dark about how to talk to guys. In fact, he wasn't much better, but Kieren had a soft spot for the sappy ones. Amy, on the other hand, was still not feeling well. Lisa had finally dragged her to the student infirmary and had Amy put on some antibiotics before it could get worse. Kieren continued to stay silent about him and Simon, still believing it wouldn't be fair to tell Amy when she was sick. Plus, Kieren didn't want to have to cancel his plans with Philip for the night. He was truly looking forward to it.

He met Philip outside the college's theater and they bought their tickets together.

"Thanks again for inviting me," Philip said as they found their seats. "I don't really have friends to do this kind of stuff with. Don't get me wrong. I like my other friends, but they usually want to go to the rugby match or the pub. It's nice to get out and do something different, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. I love Amy, but she would not be able to sit still for this long. No matter how much she does actually love plays. She has to watch recordings and pause every twenty minutes to take a break."

"How is Amy feeling?" Philip asked. "I heard she was sick."

"Oh, yeah." Kieren sighed. He hadn't wanted to bring Amy up so as to not hurt Philip's feelings. He hadn't realized it was bound to happen since she was such a huge part of his life. "She's doing a bit better. I'm sure she'll be back to class by Friday."

Philip looked relieved. "I'm glad to hear that."

The show started then, so thankfully Kieren could avoid anymore awkward conversation. The production was very enjoyable, and Kieren thought the actor playing Petruchio was incredibly talented. He was so lost in the story that he almost didn't notice when intermission had begun.

"I'm rather enjoying the play so far," Philip said as they gently pushed their way to the refreshments stand. "How about you?"

"Yes, it's fantastic," Kieren agreed. He was distracted as Philip continued on because he swore he saw Simon in the crowd. He scanned the faces but couldn't find him again. He told himself he must have imagined it. He was brought back to reality by Philip pressing a cup into his hand.

"On me," he said. "For getting me out tonight."

"Oh, Philip, you shouldn't have."

"Don't worry. It's only lemonade. I'm not made of money."

Kieren laughed. "Good thing I'm a cheap date, huh?"

Philip blushed at that, so Kieren quickly apologized.

"No, no. It's alright," Philip insisted. "I'm just not good at... joking. I try. Very hard."

Kieren told him it was fine. In fact, Philip was definitely funny. In a deadpan sort of way. Kieren thought he looked more relaxed and seemed much nicer when he let his guard down and wasn't so serious. He could see Philip possibly making friends who shared more interests with him, that way. Possibly even find someone to get his mind off Amy.

The lights blinked to signify the start of the second half of the show, so Kieren and Philip went back to their seats.

When the show had ended and the actors had taken their bows to a standing ovation, Kieren and Philip headed outside to get some air and discuss the rest of the performance. They were standing off to the side of the building, away from the crowd, when Kieren heard a familiar voice.

"I thought I had seen him earlier," he muttered.

"Saw who?" Philip asked, clearly confused.

"Sorry. I'll be right back."

Kieren walked around to the back of the theater and saw Simon talking to Petruchio. Well, the actor, naturally. He was still in costume with a jacket thrown on over. They were talking in hushed tones, Petruchio bouncing back and forth on his feet. Kieren assumed he must be cold in just the tights he had on. He didn't want to interrupt them because it appeared their conversation was serious, but Petruchio saw him and quickly pointed him out to Simon.

"Kieren, it's you," Simon said. He seemed surprised to see him, even though Kieren had told Simon he was coming to see the play. He supposed it was odd that he'd be hanging back after the show.

"Sorry. I thought I heard you and came to say hi, but I see you're busy."

"Yeah, we are, so you better get moving," Petruchio said.

Kieren started to get worried. Was the actor another ex?

"Thom, it's alright," Simon said. "Kieren is my boyfriend. We haven't seen each other in a couple days. Just give me a minute."

"Boyfriend?" Kieren asked, because that was all he could focus on now.

"I'd like to think so. Unless..." Simon trailed off, looking as if it was too painful to even finish the sentence.

"No, we're boyfriends," Kieren said quickly. "I just wasn't sure you'd want to label things just yet."

"Okay. Good. Yeah, I don't believe in beating around the bush."

"You really are right to the point about everything, aren't you?"

"Well, sometimes," Simon replied, vaguely. Kieren frowned. He thought they were done with all of that.

"So, Thom is a friend of yours?"

"Yeah. I see that look on your face. Don't worry. He's just a friend. One of my followers, if you will. I came to congratulate him on his part in the show. I wasn't able to make it to the whole thing, which is why I didn't tell you I'd be here. Plus, I didn't want to intrude on your night out with the boys."

"It's just Philip. I'm sure he wouldn't have minded. But I understand. I'm sure you had a lot of work to do. I actually should be heading back to finish mine."

"That's a good idea. I better get back to Thom. He's been a little stressed out lately, what with the play and everything. And Kieren?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'm gonna try to do better."

Simon leaned in but looked afraid to fully close the distance between, as if he had lost the right to. Kieren smiled and pulled him down the rest of the way and kissed him softly.

"I'm going to hold you to that," he said when they pulled apart. "Now get back to your friend."

"G'night Kieren," Simon said as he walked away.

"So what was that all about?" Philip asked when Kieren returned.

"Oh, uh, my boyfriend was back there. He's friends with one of the actors."

"Well, look at you," Philip said, lightly punching Kieren on the arm. Kieren suspected it was something he picked up from his other friends. "Congrats. You're lucky."

"Yeah. Yeah, I am."

\---------------------------------------------------------

"Simon's such a sweetheart," Amy gushed when Kieren returned to the table with their drinks. It was four in the morning. Neither of them had been able to sleep. Kieren due to the usual and Amy because she was "waking myself up with my chainsaw snoring. I can barely breathe Kieren. Please don't let me die like this." Kieren knew he should have told her it was best for her to stay indoors and at least rest, but he had to admit he had been bored out of his mind staring at his own ceiling. So they met up at the coffee shop with their books in tow so they could just start their day from there. Kieren placed Amy's hot chocolate on her coaster and took a huge gulp from his own coffee. He was going to need it for this conversation.

"Oh yeah? What did he do to warrant such praise?"

"What makes you think he had to do something for me to call him a sweetheart? I call you sweetheart all the time just to remind you."

Kieren just gave her a look.

"Alright, he did do something. He came by last night. Or this morning. I'm not good with relative time when I've been up this late. Or this early. Point is, he came by. And he had some of those biscuits from that shop I do so adore. I might have mentioned the place to him once, but for him to remember and then to buy something for me from there when I was feeling down was so sweet of him. Don't you think, Kier?"

Kieren couldn't answer. He was too busy coughing thanks to the coffee he basically inhaled when Amy mentioned biscuits.

He may have told Simon about the disaster of buying said biscuits and then eating them all.

_That bastard._

"Are you okay Kieren?"

"I'm fine. Just went down the wrong pipe. That was very sweet of him."

"Oh, I know. He truly is the perfect boyfriend. Well, I mean, we're not dating yet. But I'm sure it'll happen soon."

Kieren knew that it was time. He should say something. Anything.

After this coffee, he thought. He needed at least one coffee to do it. He was running on fumes.

"So, do you have any plans for the weekend?" he asked, instead.

"Well, I did see a flier for a crafts fair that's going on. I wasn't sure if you'd be interested or not."

"No, that sounds like it'd be fun. How about we invite Simon to come along as well?"

There. At least it was a step in the right direction. If Kieren could get the three of them together, he and Simon could finally tell Amy they were dating. Even if they hadn't even gone on a date. Kieren frowned when he thought about the conversation he had had with Simon only a few hours previous. It had started so well.

 **Kieren** : I can't stop thinking about you.

 **Simon:** Funny. I can't stop thinking about you either.

 **Kieren:** I was actually thinking about something specific.

 **Simon:** Were you?

 **Kieren:** Yeah, about how we should go on a date. Rather than just hoping to cross paths between classes.

 **Simon:** I don't think that's a good idea.

 **Kieren:** Cause we haven't told Amy yet?

 **Simon:** Yeah.

Simon didn't text Kieren back after that, despite several attempts to tell him that it was alright and that he didn't mind if Simon wasn't ready for that yet. It was just a date, though. Kieren couldn't understand why Simon would be comfortable with calling Kieren his boyfriend already but not going out with him to dinner.

"Hey there," Amy said, snapping her fingers in front of Kieren's face. "You looked super happy for a second and then disappeared on me. Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just tired, I guess."

"I can sympathize," Amy muttered. "I haven't been getting much sleep recently, myself. I'd keep waking myself up because I was coughing or sneezing or even breathing too loudly."

"I'm glad you're starting to feel more like your usual self."

"Me too," Amy said and took a sip of her hot chocolate.

They decided to do some work, then, as they finished up their drinks. The sun began to rise over the hill and shone in through the store front window, making it near impossible to read the glossy pages of their textbooks. They took a break to relocate to the school library which had opened by then, and finished going over their latest notes from Art History. When it was time to part ways for the first class of the day, they said their goodbyes as if they were not going to see each other in a few hours time. Which at that point, Amy hugged Kieren as if they hadn't seen each other only a few hours earlier.

As they approached the concourse, Kieren could see Simon leaning up against the fountain. He was alone, for once, and he looked sullen. Perhaps, while he acted elusive, he needed to constantly be surrounded by people, Kieren thought.

Amy had spotted Simon, as well, and had dropped Kieren's arm to run over.

"Hello handsome," she said, taking Simon by surprise.

"Well, if it isn't my two favourite people," he replied, once he had composed himself.

"You hear that Kieren? We're his two favourite people. And that was even before we invited him to the fair with us."

"A fair, huh? Tempting as it is, I'm afraid I can't."

"Aw, is that so?" Amy pouted. "We didn't even tell you what day. It is running all weekend, you know, so you might be able to make room."

"Time isn't the issue. I have to save up some money, so I can't really do anything frivolous at the moment. Perhaps by the time you plan your next adventure, I'll be in the clear."

The way he worded it -- in the clear -- struck Kieren as odd, but he didn't focus on it. He was relieved to know that explained why Simon hadn't wanted to go on a date with Kieren. He probably had just been too embarrassed to tell him and expect him to pay for everything. Not that Kieren would have minded. He had been the one to ask Simon out, so he would have gladly paid. He wouldn't mention it, though, since it seemed to be a sore spot for Simon. The only problem was that meant the three of them wouldn't be spending time together that weekend if he and Amy went to the crafts fair together. He was starting to feel horrible for keeping Amy in the dark for so long, even if nothing else had occurred between him and Simon besides kissing (and bad text flirting).

"Alright. I suppose I understand," Amy said, hiding her smile terribly. Kieren could tell she wasn't actually upset. She was just happy to see Simon at that moment. Not for the first time, Kieren wished he could be as carefree as his friend. "You understand, don't you Kieren?"

"You have been rather quiet," Simon pointed out. "Are you upset I can't join you?"

How did he make it sound so lewd? Kieren glared at him.

"No, it just would have been nice to have the three of us together."

Simon looked down at his feet rather guiltily. Kieren almost felt bad.

"Soon," Simon promised. Kieren was beginning to doubt that.

"Well, that's settled then," Amy said. "Now, before we're late, I suggest we all ship off to class. Bye Simon."

"G'bye Amy." Simon gave her a quick hug and Kieren's stomach dropped when Simon passed by him without so much as a wave.

Was he frustrated because Simon was putting off the inevitable? Or because he was no better? Was he sad because he couldn't hug Simon in front of Amy because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to pull away? That it would become more than just a friendly hug? Or was he simply jealous?

\---------------------------------------------------------

Kieren knew he was being immature ignoring the texts Simon sent him throughout the day. He told himself it was alright since he physically couldn't bring himself to read them anyway. He was starting to think that things would be easier for him if he were to stop engaging in romantic relationships. And just by thinking of it in such a detached manner made him believe he was right. Anyone else would try to make things work if they were sure this person was special. Kieren liked Simon, but they had only known each other for two weeks time. It wasn't like with Rick. Rick had always been there for Kieren, in his own way. Kieren could admit that now that his anger and disappointment was subsiding. Even then, however, he couldn't make it work.

Then again, did he really try?

_The bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling shone off the disc directly into Kieren's eyes. He started to regret not making a case for the mix, but he hadn't wanted it to be extremely obvious how much time and thought he had put into it. He doubted that he could have anymore obvious, even if he wore a sign around his neck that said, "I have feelings for you and am expressing them through this music."_

_Rick laughed, but not maliciously. 'I keep tellin' my dad to get a cover for that.'_

_'Don't expect him to care.'_

_'Ren, c'mon. Don't talk about my dad like that. It's the weekend. Let's have a good time, yeah?'_

_'Alright. You really want to listen to it now, though? We could watch a movie instead. That's more fun to do with two people then listen to music.'_

_'Of course I wanna listen to it. You're my best mate and you want me to hear this, so I wanna listen to it with ya. Besides, you don't like any of my movies.'_

_'Because all the female characters are buxom with no personality. It's degrading.'_

_Rick looked shamefully at the poster hanging on the wall above his bed. It was some model from a Sports Illustrated. Later Kieren would learn he didn't know her name. He had just ripped the first poster he found and tacked it up in hope his father would stop pestering him about getting a girlfriend. At the time, Kieren thought he was just embarrassed about being called out for exploiting women._

_'Let's watch Saving Private Ryan,' Kieren suggested. 'We can both agree on that?'_

_The mix CD was left on Rick's bedside table to be forgotten about until his father found it a couple days later._

Kieren was laid out on his bed, staring at the ceiling as he waited for Amy. She had a meeting with her advisor at four and afterward they were going to study. Midterms were coming up, after all. Freddie had already left for the night, so Kieren was alone with his thoughts until she showed up. When he had arrived back at his room, he attempted to do some sketching solely for fun. It had been awhile since he had drawn something that wasn't to be graded. Unfortunately, all he could manage were bits and pieces of Simons all over the page. So he had set his sketchbook aside and decided the ceiling was more interesting then it had been the night before.

There was a knock at the door, and Kieren quickly glanced at the clock. It seemed a bit early for Amy to already be done with her meeting. Maybe she was just that fast. Maybe Freddie had forgotten his key.

Kieren rolled off the bed in an undignified manner and dragged himself to the door. He was hoping against hope that it wasn't who he thought it was on the other side. He opened the door a crack and peaked outside. Simon was standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. He was looking everywhere except at Kieren.

"What do you want?" Kieren asked.

"Can I come in?" Simon rebutted, instead of answering. Kieren should have known not to expect a direct answer.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have outright ignored you, but you're kind of the last person I want to see or talk to right now."

"I'm sorry, Kier. Truly. I don't know why you're so mad with me, but do I get a chance to fix things?"

"You don't know? You're not exactly helping out with telling Amy that..." Kieren realized he had raised his voice. It wasn't like anyone in their hall knew him well, but he still didn't want them all to know about personal business. "Just... get in here."

Simon brushed passed Kieren, sending shivers up his spine. He was disappointed this his body reacted to Simon so easily when he was mad at him.

"You shouldn't have come here," Kieren said. He decided for a moment not to call Simon out considering he would be justified in telling Kieren he was being a hypocrite. "Amy is going to be here any moment."

"Okay, okay. We tell her when she gets here, then. I know we should have told her sooner. There's just a few things going on right now that have been demanding my attention."

"Like money problems? Or is your ex bothering you again?"

"Yes and no."

Kieren threw his hands in the air. "If you could stop being so cryptic for just once, please. I understand that we've only met not so long ago, but I've told you a decent amount about myself, yet I feel like I barely even know you. Why can't you tell me anything about yourself or about your life? I'm starting to think that this isn't going to work out between us if you don't open up."

"There are so many things I want to tell your Kieren," Simon whispered. He sounded sincere. Kieren may have been furious, but he wasn't going to force Simon to leave if he was going to explain himself. Kieren motioned for him to take a seat on Freddie's bed and he sat down on his own. "The thing is, I want to tell you it all. I don't want you to think any less of me, though. You're just... you're perfect Kieren. I'm trying to better myself so I can be someone you deserve."

"God, Simon, no one is perfect. I'm just a person. I have faults. Like, I'm incredibly passive until pushed to the very edge of my limitations."

"Like now?"

"Yeah. I may have overreacted a bit. I never had a fight with a boyfriend before. Mostly because I haven't had a boyfriend."

"I find that extremely hard to believe." Kieren was surprised Simon didn't wink at him. He said the cheesy line completely straight faced like it truly was impossible that no one wanted to date Kieren.

"The point is, you're you. And I like you, so I like everything you whether it's good or bad."

"You wouldn't say that if you knew before I made it right."

"Then where does that leave us?"

"It leaves me asking you to trust me. I will make things right. I only need another week or two. I promise, and if I'm wrong... if it isn't over by then, I'll tell you. Everything. And then we'll see where we go from there."

A part of Kieren wanted to take the easy route and turn his back on Simon now. He couldn't do that. Maybe he actually was brave, underneath it all.

"Okay," he said. It was so quiet, he hardly heard himself. Simon looked at him, confused. Rather than repeat himself, Kieren leaned forward and pulled Simon onto his bed and cradled his face. Simon smiled and waited for Kieren to make the next move. Their lips met, softer than the first time, but no less passionate. Kieren wondered if you could fall in love with someone solely from their kiss, but he knew in his heart that the physical just over rode the emotional when you were caught up in the moment.

He could say he was in love with kissing Simon.

The wet slide of their lips. Simon moving his hands gently over Kieren's shoulders. Not quite daring enough to go any lower. Not yet. Kieren finally finding a place to put his own hands (firmly on Simon's waist) and realizing that it did not feel awkward. He felt like at this point in time, he was exactly where he belonged.

He was so caught up in the moment that he didn't hear the door to his dorm open once again. He did hear someone -- _Amy_ \-- cry out and run from the room.

Kieren pulled back, jumping up from the bed, and went to follow Amy.

"No, don't," Simon said. Kieren looked down at him and, despite it all, smiled. Simon's hair was ruffled and his lips stained pink. He looked debauched yet adorable.

"I have to explain," Kieren insisted.

"She knows. She's hurt. She needs her space. We'll talk to her tomorrow."

"That's what we've been saying for too long. And now this has happened."

"Kieren, this isn't how I wanted Amy to find out either, but what's done is done. She was going to be hurt no matter how we approached the matter, and this was the worst possible outcome. She will not want to see us, and we would be making things worse if we went against her wishes. She'll need some time."

Simon was right.

Kieren curled up on his bed, leaving room for Simon to lay down next to him.

He was not going to cry.

"Can you hold me?" he asked Simon.

"Yeah. Yeah, I can do that."


End file.
